


Anger Management 204

by Rhubarb_Custard



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Anger Management, F/F, Ice Breakers, Name Tags, Some names have been changed to protect the innocent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:20:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29929884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhubarb_Custard/pseuds/Rhubarb_Custard
Summary: This one shot turned out longer than expected so may be 2/3 chapters.The AU where Eve and Oksana meet at an anger management course.It’s fun, it’s cheesy. Enjoy & please let me know what you think
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

Oksana rests her palms on the desk and tilts her head under the gap in the perplex glass of the reception desk.

“Hellooo!” She booms, using her outdoor voice. A slim male figure with his back to her and his nose in a filling cabinet jumps.

“Good morning, sorry just doing some filing”he says with a clipped smile approaching the desk and picking up a clipboard. “How can I help?” Oksana looks him up and down, he must be 19 or 20 at most and has a very strong still lives at home and has his packed lunches made for him vibe. 

“I’m doing a course here, the paperwork said to check in at the front desk”

“Of course, can I just take your name please?”

“Astankova”

“First or last?” He says scanning a finger over the note on the clipboard

“Last. Oksana Astankova”

He humms as he runs a finger up and down the list making “umm” and “humm”ing noises.

“Do you need me to spell it?” Oksana asks with a politely discreet roll of her eyes.

“Bingo! Found you ” he bristles with excitement presumably at not being totally useless. 

“Congratulations” Oksana mutters under her breath 

“And what’s your preferred name?” He asks with his pen trapped between his teeth. 

“Is that a trick question?” She asks with a raised eyebrow 

“No” he says, head tilted in confusion. 

“Oksana then” 

He scribbles onto the clipboard presumably ticking her off the victim list and sends her on her way to room 204. Just up the lift and down the hall to the left he said. Oksana counts off the rooms as she passes them until she finds what she’s looking for. The sign on the door reads “The Calm Zone with Carolyn Martins”. Oksana is still sniggering as she pushes the door open. It’s a standard conference room with the tables moved out and the chairs placed in a semi circle around a whiteboard. At the back of the room is a table that’s been set up as a tea and coffee station. Oksana makes a beeline for it hoping there’ll be some biscuits, all good meetings have biscuits and Oksana missed breakfast this morning. 

There are already a couple of people milling around awkwardly exchanging hellos and rating the beverage choices. Apparently the decision to provide a supermarket own brand of tea over Yorkshire or Tetleys is a poor one. Whats with the English fascination with tea? At least it gives them something other than the weather to bond over. 

Oksana can’t help but think it’s an odd assemble of people, not at all what she had expected. There are 4 others and Oksana makes five. She grabs herself a piss-poor cup of tea and a couple of custard creams, she spins around to scope out the seating arrangements and reaches behind her to raid the biscuit tin again, planning on pocketing a few for later. There’s a fat balding man hovering by the window who looks like he’s keeping a ledger, raising his eyebrows as she goes back for a third helping. She goes to grab the tin but at the same moment a hand reaches for a Jammy dodger.

“Shit sorry” the woman says, she’s an Asian woman, in her mid 40s Oksana would guess, with intense hazel eyes holding her hands up in apology “after you” 

The mystery women is strikingly beautiful, Oksana wonders why she hasn’t noticed her sooner, with a mane of brunette curls spilling down to her shoulders she could almost be- 

Oksana knows she’s staring, but this woman really reminds her of - 

“No, after you” Oksana smiles pulling herself out of her thoughts before she gets swallowed. 

“Thanks” she says helping herself then handing the tin back to Oksana “I’m Eve” 

“Oksana, first time?” 

Eve nods, grimacing as she takes a sip of the black coffee in her spare hand. “Jesus, the coffees like piss. Yeah. You?”

“Third” Oksana says with an apologetic shrug “but don’t let that put you off. Come sit next to me” 

***

A woman steps into the room and claps her hands to gain everyone’s attention. She’s a not unattractive woman in her early to kid 50s with short clipped hair and a massive BDE, Oksana feels herself sit up a bit straighter in the woman’s presence. 

“Good morning everyone, I’m Dr.Martins”

There’s a chorus of a few hellos and good mornings before she continues “As you all know this course will run for 2 days but before we get into that I’d like to go over some housekeeping rules-“

“Here you-“ The door bursts open and in comes the receptionist. Dr.Martins throws him a withering look and a blush creeps up his neck warming his cheeks “sorry, just dropping these off” he hands her some paperwork which she takes mercifully quickly. With a single nod of her head in recognition and another whispered apology he backs out the door with all the grace of a London bus with no tyres. 

“Okay as I was saying, a few housekeeping rules” the Dr continues, pointing out what to do in the unlikely event of a fire drill, stressing the importance of good timekeeping and the “golden rule” about treating the other course members with respect. 

Oksana raises her hand because the most pressing issue still hasn’t been covered.

“Yes..”

“Oksana” she offers helpfully “what time is lunch?”

Her jaw tenses “12 o clock, but first-“ she passes Oksana a sheet of sticky labels “Take yours and pass it along” Oksana preens, she likes being given jobs. Maybe she’ll be teachers pet. But her face drops as she sees what she’s been handed “Is this mandatory?”

“Yes” The Dr is clearly a woman of few words. Oksana huffs out a sigh as she peels the sticker with her own name on it and presses it to her shirt before passing it on to the next person. 

“We’ll start with some icebreakers this morning then this afternoon we’ll explore the route cause of what brought you all to me today. Tomorrow we’ll look at some coping strategies”

Oksana raises her hand “When will be getting to the physical part?” 

“I’m not sure what you mean?” The Dr asks as she pushes her glasses up into her head.

“I assumed we would be doing some Kickboxing or smashing plates or something. This is an anger management course is it not?”

“Great question Oksana” she smiles (grimaces?) and turns back to address the group “This course focuses on self-discipline and negative response perception. The aim is to accept and overcome negative emotions like anger and frustration and channeling them-“ the Dr continues 

“What hippy hell is this” Eve whispers under her breath. 

Oksana grunts out a laugh. “I swear if she has us doing trust-fall exercises I’m out” 

Dr.Martins fixes them both with a blistering stare and Eve mouths “sorry”. 

“Nerd” Oksana whispers earning herself a swat on the forearm from Eve. 

****

Human Rock Paper Scissors.

That’s the ice breaker the good Doctor decides on. They get split into two groups of 3, group 1 is Oksana, Eve and the biscuit guardian who introduces himself as Will. Group 2 is a posh boy called Hugh, an older woman called Sasha who looks like she’s stumbled into the wrong room and is too polite or embarrassed to say anything and a young woman who’s name badge reads “Elaine” the “I” has been modified so it’s dotted with a heart, clearly a psychopath. To begin, each team huddles and decides on which play to run, Oksana insists they choose scissors because it’s the obvious choice, for her at least.  
The two teams then meet in the playing area (the middle of the hastily cleared floor) and on the count of 3 they show their hand, the other team have taken a gamble on paper - big mistake. Oksanas team chase the other team back to their end zone. The aim of the game is to tag them before they get there, Oksana takes off at lightning speed and manages to slap a hand onto Sashas back before she gets close.

“Ha!” Oksana shouts

“One point to team-“ Dr.Martins pauses with a finger in the air “what did you say your team name was again?”

“The scissor sisters!” Oksana declares before her teammates can protest.

Sasha groans and trudges over to join Oksanas team and they prepare for the next round. The game ends when everyone is on the same team, after a solid start the scissor sisters loose Eve to the other team because of a poor suggestion that they try “paper” on the next turn and the other team choose scissors. It’s an intense game, Will forfeits and has to sit out the final round because of a stitch and Hugh looks like he might actually be getting an erection. Elaine is the last woman standing and holds her hands up in submission giving team Oksana the win.

Carolyn claps them all for being “good sports” and announces it’s lunchtime. Finally. The office has a canteen but in true form an echo of “pub?” Reverberates around the room and everyone nods in agreement with the exceptions of Sasha who tells them she’s brought a packed lunch from home and Will who shifts awkwardly and simply says “I better not”. 

Oksana links arms with Eve as the group makes there way to the lift, Oksana leans in and whispers- 

“Will, pedophile or wife beater. Which and why, go!”


	2. Chapter 2

Eves face is totally neutral, she doesn’t flicker as she takes a sip of her G&T (to whet the whistle) “then someone reported us to the police and we both got a caution for public indecency”

“Bullllshittt!” Oksana flops back into her chair shaking her head and picking at the last few chips on her plate.

“That’s not how the game works; it’s 2 truths and a lie. We have to guess which one is the lie” Hugh offers helpfully. Taking a sip of pale ale and smacking his lips.

Oksana waves her hand dismissively “I know the game but I don’t believe any of those were true. That’s cheating” 

Eve arches an eyebrow and leans across the table towards the blonde lowering her voice “Dont judge a book by its cover, I might be a dinosaur but that doesn’t mean I’ve lived some sedentary life. The things I’ve done would make your toes curl kid”

Oksanas eyebrows shoot to her hairline and she feels a zing, a little flutter in her tummy. Her interest now well and truly piqued by this mysterious older woman who is so much more than she seems. 

Elaine snorts out a laugh and Hugh high-5s Eve.

“Quite the dark horse aren’t we?” Oksana says with a smirk. 

Eve shrugs nonchalantly and drains the last of her (second) gin and tonic.

“Get a room!” Elaine says with a quick glance between them and a wink in Hughs direction. 

Oksana turns back to Eve ignoring Elaine “Which was the lie?” 

“Oh, I was never a paid extra in Eastenders ” Eve says swirling a beer mat between her fingers. 

“So the threesome and the topless sunbathing in Regents Park?” Elaine asks. Eve nods. 

“Boys or girls?” Oksana asks locking eyes with Eve. 

“One of each” Eve responds holding the blondes gaze. “Your turn ” 

“Sorry ladies, lunchtimes almost over we better get back. Here take one” he says offering up a polo mint to each of them “so we don’t stink of booze” 

They finish their drinks and stand to leave, Hugh leans into Eve “I’d love to hear more about this threesome later, allll the gory details”

Elaine opens her mouth and looks like she’s about to go into a tirade about misogyny but Eve, who can clearly stand up for herself gives him a gentle elbow to the ribs and tells him to piss off.

**

“Four years we were together then one day I came home from Warhammer Club and she tells me she wants to talk. She tells me she wants more from life than I can offer. That she can’t face a future of sitting on the sofa with me watching box sets and eating takeaway lamb pasanda” Will had almost dislocated his shoulder raising his hand and volunteering to go first in their group Get To The Route session. 

“She also made some derogatory comments about my..” he gestures towards his lap and blushes

“We don’t need to discuss that” Carolyn says quickly. 

Will nods “No No that’s not for here”

They sit in a circle each waiting to take their turn and be cross-examined by the Dr and spill their guts about what the route cause of their anger is. Oksana rests a hand over her mouth and nods sympathetically while hiding her smile, beside her Eves shoulders are bouncing up and down as she tries to hold back a laugh. Maybe a mostly liquid lunch wasn’t the best idea. 

“Her bags were already packed and she walked out with our son” Carolyn hands him a tissue and he blows his nose “All I had left to remember them by were the photographs on the walls and some of Harry’s toys”

Caroline humms sympathetically “and do you have regular contact with your son following the break up?” 

He shakes his head chocking back a sob “That was the worst part, she re-homed him” 

Carolyn blinks in surprise “Re-homed him?”

“Yes. Harry was a cat” 

Eve and Oksana slowly turn to face eachother and as soon as they lock eyes they burst into laughter. Carolyn indulges them for a minute but as Oksana starts rocking back and forth in her chair and slapping her knee she shoots them daggers. Eve has tears streaming down her face. 

“Deep cleansing breaths Will” she gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 

“Do you two need a minute?” Carolyn asks 

“No” “No sorry” they chorus neither in line for the place of teachers pet anymore.

“She told the police I staged a dirty protest, that I put dog muck on her front step and smeared it on her letterbox and bricked her window”

“And is that what happened?”

“No” he says as he drops his head into his hands “it wasn’t dog muck”

Eve starts sniggering which quickly turns into a coughing fit and excuses herself to go to the bathroom to gather herself.

“Can you check on her?” Carolyn asks, she doesn’t wait for a response before asking Hugh to go next.

Oksana steps into the bathroom and Eve is braced over the sink taking deep breaths. She looks up when the door opens and looks relieved? to see it’s Oksana.

“Your very naughty Eve, poor Will is devastated about his cat” Oksana juts out her bottom lip. 

“Don’t!” Eve starts giggling again and clutching her stomach “I can’t” 

Oksana moves to stand with her back against the sinks as Eve splashes some water on her face and runs her hands through her hair trying to collect herself, she stills when she notices Oksanas eyes on her. Neither of them are smiling anymore, caught in an intense study of each others faces. Oksana unconsciously licks her bottom lip and Eves gaze drops. 

“We should get back-“ 

Oksana presses her lips to Eves tentatively at first to shut her up, testing the waters but soon Eves kissing back, melting into it as Oksanas hands slip to rest on her hips. Oksana presses into her and pins Eve against the sink, her tongue running along Eves thick lower lip as she slips her hands up gripping Oksana by the lapels. An accidental moan escapes Oksana as she weaves her fingers into Eves hair.

***

“It was 6 months ago, I was on my way to work, i was having the worst morning ever, I slept through my alarm because my phone had died, it was raining and a car drove past me hit a puddle and soaked me. I got on my bus and realised my Oyster card was in my other bag. I burst into tears on the number 22 to Piccadilly” 

Carolyn nods “Okay Elaine tell us what happened next”

“The driver asked me if I was on my period” a sharp intake of breath from everyone in the room “So I hit him, the bus driver. I just saw red. I broke his nose”

“Wow” Eve whispers under her breath

“Asking for it” Oksana agrees crossing one knee over the other and leaning forwards in her seat. The movement catches Eves eye and she turns giving a shy smile. It’s cute, it’s also good to know that she seems to be as affected by their kiss as Oksana is. It had been hot, really hot, from slow and lingering to hot and heavy in seconds. When they finally broke apart they were both breathing heavily but after checking themselves in the mirror they had sheepishly re-joined the group. 

“Eve? Tell us your story. Why are you here today”


End file.
